i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
