Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
