:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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