she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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