so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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