I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
