my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
