i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
