After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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