I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
