I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
