I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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