I looked at my own cervix.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
