guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
