I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
