this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
