She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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