Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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