Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
