Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
