If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
