Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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