you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
