hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
