as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
