I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We don't watch enough power rangers
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
