He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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