Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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