Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
