Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Randomize
