1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
