My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
