so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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