So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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