U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
