i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
