Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
