OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
