The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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