i think i have two assholes
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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