sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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