Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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