she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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