and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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