you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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