her vagine was all disorganized.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
