Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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