do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
