i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
