used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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